Some days when the kids get home, it is a whirlwind. This activity, that activity, this homework, that homework, you name it we have it. Last night was one of those nights. It wasn't so much that there was more than normal going on, it was that the world seemed to line up in a rude way for all of my teens/preteens. One thing I have learned, and I am no expert, is that no matter the age, the feelings are big and they are very real. Sometimes, less words are more. Sometimes, they don't want us to fix it, they want us to listen. I am not perfect at this, by any means, but I do try and do better with each interaction. I am not sure where I heard this but wish I could remember because it has changed how my kids and I interact with each other. When we are butting head we say this, "Let's give each other grace. You have never been a (insert age here) year old before. I have never parented a (insert age here) year old before. Let's both give each other grace so we can learn together." This allows both of us to realize we are in this together.
Last night had big feelings for multiple kids. Some regarding life, some regarding homework, and other responding to the others feelings. Everyone was allowed space, the decision of what they wanted. They were given choices of: Do you want to talk? Do you want space? Do you want me to help fix anything? By providing these options, the kids get to choose how they need to be helped. Each kiddo chose something a little different. More guidance was given to the younger ones, as they are still learning how this works, and the older ones, are given more space to allow for their development as they will be entering the real world soon. It is my belief that by allowing them these choices now, that they will be able to use these skills when they get older to navigate problems that will come up.
We will keep working together, giving each other grace, and some how we will end up on the other side of this together. What tips do you have for teens/pre-teens? What has worked for you? Any sage advice from those who have gotten to the other side?
See ya soon!
Ali XOXO
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